My husband and I rarely argue.  When we do have, an argument we have found that, it is usually because we have gone too long with letting the little things pile up.

By not talking out the little things it all builds up until you are “making mountains out of mole hills”.

It is important to discuss issues with your significant other as it comes up.

Be honest, be direct, and get it out in the open.  Not only will it strengthen your communications, but it will prevent big blow-ups!

Your relationship is important, so use your communication to express what you are feeling and what is bothering you.

I use to hate getting junk mail. But, in the true spirit of not letting anything go to waste, I have found some fun and creative ways to put that pesky junk mail to good use.

• Scratch paper: Why buy scratch paper? Cut up junk mail that has one side blank. It’s great to give kids to color or draw on the blank side.
• Mail Call for the kids: Kids of all ages love getting mail. For younger kids turn it into a learning game, see how may letters or words they can identify or turn those color advertisements into item searches.
• Arts and Crafts: Use junk mail to protect your table during arts and crafts. Cut junk mail into strips for papier-mâché. Use pictures from junk and advertising mail for a collage.

With my husband changing his work schedule to night shift (7pm-7am), it took away my little breathers that I had when he worked during the day. He would come home and I would get some time to finish work that I didn’t have a chance to get done. I also got those much deserved “mommy breaks” that we all need from time to time. With the new schedule I got up with Logan in the morning, he would be napping when my husband got up, and then he would go to work and I would be solely responsible for Logan for the rest of the night. No help with dinner or bath time, my “mommy sleep in days” were now down to once a week if I was lucky. And because I didn’t have the help that I was use to, I would end up staying up into the early morning hours finishing things that I just could not get done while Logan was up and about.

About 2 weeks in, I was sleep deprived and starting to see early signs of “burn out”. Finally, I told myself, “This is nuts, why don’t I just ask for some help?”

Asking for help is easy to recommend that to my clients, even easier for me to be the one that helps when a friend or family member needs it… Nevertheless, what stops us from asking for help for ourselves?

Personally, I feel very good about myself if I can balance everything successfully. I am a very self-sufficient person and asking for help to me means that I am unable to handle whatever situation, even though that is just reality sometimes. We are only human, and if it was intended for us to do everything, ourselves, then we would have been put on this earth alone.

We need others, we need love, validation, we even need to be needed, and sometimes we need help too. This is one of those life lessons that I have had to learn again and again. Maybe it’s our pride that stops us from asking for help, maybe it is our inability to admit that we are in over our head.

I have seen the results of letting my pride get in the way of asking for help. It is a life filled with anxiety, stress, and unhappiness.

What are you struggling with in your life? Where do you need help?

Whatever it is there is help out there. The first step is getting over the hang up about asking for it. Think about what stops you from asking for help. Then ask yourself: “Is it really worth running myself into the ground over?” If you just don’t know how to ask, then just be honest. It’s ok to admit that you need help. The travesty is not asking for what you need.

I finally decided that I was going to get real and admit that I need some help this time around before I found myself totally stressed out. I asked for and my ten-year-old nephew came over for the weekend. He kept my son occupied so I could get some things done, he helped out with the housework, and its been so wonderful having another pair of hands around the house. Therefore, the next time that I am offered help that is going to make my life more manageable, I am going to take them up on it.

After we celebrated Father’s day with my husband, I went over to have dinner with my father and brother. It was my privilege to watch my brother as a father in action. I watched him play with his kids and saw a reflection of our own childhood, as they played, laughed and had fun.

My brother supports the same creativity with his kids as our parents did with us. My favorite example was our family court. Whenever we as kids were passed down what we thought was an unfair punishment we were given a chance to “appeal” it. One of my parents played the part of the judge and the other the prosecutor. My brother and I played the part of defender and defendant. It was a creative way to allow us to present our side…to be heard. And to accept the consequences of our actions.

We always played games that encouraged our imagination and creative thinking. We did a great bit of pretending, transforming us to exciting places and situations. I contribute my creativity and imagination to the opportunities that I had as a child to foster and use it.

It is a wonderful gift that we can give our children, to encourage creativity. The world should not just be seen through reality-fixed goggles. A beautiful day is a time to unleash the imagination and search the farthest realms of ones mind.

Not only should we encourage creativity in our children, but in ourselves. Adults that can think creatively are some of the best problem-solver I have ever met. Their lives enriched by the shedding the shackles of limitations as they dare to dream.

Let yourself think outside the box. Don’t be afraid to bring something new and innovated to the table. For those true pioneers of our time were people who were able to look at things from a creative perspective and say “it can be done” when others say it can’t.

“One of the best lessons that anyone can learn in life is how to use time wisely.  Consider what can be done in ten minutes.  If you need a little mental relaxation, you can sit down with a friend and play a game of cards.  If you need some physical recreation, you can engage in a few exercises that will help you body.  Perhaps you have a friend who for weeks or months has been looking for a letter.  Learn to use ten minutes intelligently.  It will pay huge dividends.”

~ William A. Irwin

It always amazes me how kids can bounce back.  Last night as I was getting my son ready for bath time he slipped on the towel that I put down on the floor, smashing his head against the tub.  I picked up my crying son and comforted him, surveying the damage. 

He had banged his head pretty good leaving a huge goose egg right above his eye on this eyebrow.  After about five minutes of crying and me comforting him, he was ready to take his bath.  As he happily played, singing his favorite song.  I decided that the big goose egg above his eye, which was now a purplish-blue needed to be checked out.

Logan was more than happy to go “buh-bye” and enjoyed himself as he flirted with the women waiting in the emergency room waiting area, flashing his charismatic smile at them all.

It made me think about resilience, when did we as adults stop being able to bounce back so fast.  What is stopping us?  How much better would our lives be if we practiced the old adage of “if you fall of a horse, you get right back on”?

Life is filled with times when we are knocked off that proverbial horse.  Yet, often times self-doubt is what stops us from getting back on.  We start to doubt our decisions, our abilities, our commitment, even the core of ourselves.  However, aren’t those pitfalls of life just something that happens?  Do we always have to take them as a personal reflection of our own faults?

Life just happens, it has less to do with ourselves and more to do with the fact that it is just how it is.  If we had nothing but happy times…if our lives were filled with only good events, how would we grow from misfortunes?

Everything has two sides; it is the balance of life.  You cannot have up without down, right without left or good times with out bad times.  Even though you might find yourself down in the dumps, doesn’t it make you appreciated all the good things that you have in your life. 

In your life, you are going to have much to celebrate as well as times when you have to brush yourself off and start again. 

Resilience is one of those lessons that we need to learn from our children. 

Life is going to be filled with plenty of goose-eggs to the noggin, but don’t let them keep you down!

As for Logan, the swelling was almost gone by the next morning and you could barely see any traces of the fiasco the night before.  He didn’t let it break his stride one bit. 

Life is life, sometimes it going to be great and sometimes not so great…but, if you allow yourself to rebound from the bad stuff instead of falling into a pit of despair and self-doubt, you are going to get back to the good times all that much faster.

I went around and around about the name of this blog. I wanted a title to describe me. I am a mother, wife, student, daughter, sister, businesswomen, coach, friend, teacher…and so much more. But, all those don’t describe who I am just the roles that I take on in my life.

I am a woman, first and foremost. I hate mornings…I encourage my imagination and creativity…I love to let my inner child play with my son…I choose to see the beauty in life, instead of the ugliness…Above all I choose to design my life, creating the future and outcomes that I want.

I created this blog to share the life lessons that I have learned and that I learn everyday. If you look hard enough there is a lesson in life, love, and strength in everything around us.

Come on in, sit, and relax. I hope that you can take away some insight and an awareness of the lessons in your own life.

With Empowering Regards,

Tonya Ramsey