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“I am my own victim, my own perpetrator. Of course, the tools of my self-victimization have been made readily available. The pattern of the perfect body has been programmed into me since birth. But whatever the cultural influences and pressures, my preoccupation with my flab, my constant dieting, exercising, worry, is self-imposed. I pick up the magazines, I buy into the ideal. I believe that blond, flat [stomach] girls, have the secret.”

~ From the Preface of The Good Body by Eve Ensler

I think that one of the biggest tragedies in the world today is women that are letting others define them. It is something that we all do. We let fashion magazines and TV define what we should wear. We let the endless images of the ideal “perfect” yet, unrealistic body define what we think we should look like. Sadly, we are even letting others define what are goals are and how we should define our success.

We allow ourselves to be labeled because that is what society does. We are labeled by our race, profession, gender, marital status, whether we have kids or not, by our education level, how much money we make, what god we pray to…everything in our life comes down to a classification. And because we buy into it, we soon forget that we have the power to define ourselves.

You want to know the secret for inner peace, the phrase that will set you free?

I DEFINE ME.

Let go of worries about what others think. Don’t set your standards by what other’s think.

Be the leader that you where born to be, stop following the herd. Who cares what the latest fashion is, if you don’t like it then declare your individuality. Let yourself stand out, be noticed and be heard! Know in your heart that only about 10% of the world looks like a super-model and start loving yourself for the way you are. Care more about the person than the superficial.

Live by your own definitions of what success is. It doesn’t have to be a six figure a year income with two new cars in the driveway. But, it does have to be what YOU want it to be. It has to be a life that you are going to blossom in, a life that allows you to enjoy the things that you value most. Define yourself, define your life, and define your OWN priorities because the only one that is going to have to live with regret is you.

We are our own victim, our own perpetrator until we decide to define for ourselves.

© Copyright 2006 Tonya Ramsey