We live in a society filled with the mentality of instant gratification. We want what we want when we want it. There is nothing wrong with wanting it all and moving towards it. However, when we come up against an obstacle there is a chance that “all or nothing.” thinking may kicks in.

An older movie was on cable last week called, “Baby Boom” staring Diane Keaton as a career minded ad exec, named J.C that inherits a baby girl from a recently passed on relative. The movie progresses with Keaton’s character first, trying to continue her fast track career after deciding she also wants to be a mother, unwilling to take a demotion at her job’s insistence because of her decision to raise the baby, she buys a farmhouse and moves to Vermont to become a full time mother. Soon she is very dissatisfied, frustrated, and stressed out. J.C found herself stuck as a result of all or nothing thinking, not even leaving open the possibility that there were other options that would help her create a happy fulfilled life.

Sometimes when we are going after our dreams and goals we get tunnel vision. We are not looking at the big picture. We fail to see the new opportunities that pop up, even when things don’t work out according to plan, after all we want it all or nothing. Then we find ourselves stuck, maybe discouraged, even a little depressed.

There is a one lesson, that will help you get out of the all or nothing thinking, that will set you free when you get stuck, it is to open up and allow. We have control over many things in our lives, but sometimes there will be things that disrupt our life plans that are beyond our control. By keeping our minds open and allowing positive things to come in to our lives we can get unstuck and be receptive to new options.

When J.C, finally opened up and allowed, she had found that her happiness laid somewhere between high-powered NYC ad exec and stay at home mother. She stopped thinking in “either or” terms. When we think in those terms or let “can’t” or “it has to be this way” enter our thoughts, we put limits on ourselves. We deny ourselves from new opportunities, the possibly that something else is out there that will change our lives positively. You might be taken on a new path to get to where you want to be. There are always different ways to get around those detours that might happen, while still moving towards the life you want.

J.C started making her own baby applesauce, mostly just to pass the time while she was snowed in. With one turn of events, she started her own baby food business, finding out that what she thought she wanted all along was not her hearts desire. She got unstuck by allowing herself to really think about what she wanted and then allow different possibilities, sure it wasn’t what she originally thought she wanted but in the end, she got her own business, to be a mom, and even got the guy in the process.

Now, rarely does real life get summed up so neatly in 90 minutes, but I though the movie was a great example of how to open up to new possibilities and free yourself from thinking in all or nothing terms. Life is not set in stone, it in continuously changing and evolving, whether we want it to or not. When we remove the self-imposed limit in our thinking, we will be open to the fact that life might not work out the way we planned it, but who knows there might be something even better right around the corner.