Life By Design’s Weekly News
April 23, 2009
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News this week:

~ What can you do when your in-laws are the out-laws?
~ Heal Yourself on Journey to Self this week
~ Quote of the Week

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What can you do when your in-laws are the out-laws?

The saying goes, “You can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family” this can be applied to in-laws as well.  It can be difficult as families blend.  Parents sometimes have a hard time just realizing that their son or daughter is now embarking on their own life. We are all unique, we hold different ideas and beliefs that may not always fall into line with what others may think.

Problems with in-laws can cause major family stress and ultimately can cause problems in your relationship.  Here are a few ways you can improve your relationship with your in-laws.

Stand United - One of the first steps is to make sure that you and your spouse stand united.  Discuss topics that might be an issue of contention with your in-laws and decide what you want to do as a couple and family.  There is pressure to live up to parent’s expectations, but your relationship depends greatly on making decisions that are best for your family.  Sometimes that is going to go against traditions or values that do not work for you, your spouse, and children.

To Get Respect You Have Give It - Personally, I have experienced problems with my in-laws during my first marriage.  It wasn’t so much that my in-laws felt that they had to inject their opinion into every aspect of our life, but it was more the way it was done.  Usually very sarcastically without regards to our feelings.  Respect is a two way street.  In the relationship to your in-laws respect is going to be key getting through the times when you may not see eye to eye.  Also keep in mind that your in-laws intentions are probably not rooted in evil - no matter what you want to tell yourself.

Handling conflicts with your in-laws in a respectful way is going to help build the bridge of communication.  The next time you are faced with a disagreement with your in-law try saying something like, “I realize that your advice is coming from a place of love and concern, but we have decided that this is what is best for our family.  You may not agree, but as family we need to support each other.”

There are certain topics that will bring you to an impasse in these cases all the arguing and fighting will not change the mind of either party involved in these situations you have to agree to disagree.

Communicate - It is important that as the in-law you are assertive and stand up for yourself.  It is equally important that your spouse is doing the same.  Talk with your in-laws, use “I” statements to let them know how you feel and what kind of relationship you would like to work towards.

Don’t Put Children in the Middle - Unfortunately, a side effect of adult turmoil is that children get dragged into the middle.  Even if it is not intended there are lots of passive aggressive statements or actions that kids can pick up on.  Don’t discuss problems with your in-laws in front of your children.  Refrain from negative statements about them in front of your children.  Remember they love you all and don’t understand the more complex (and even the simple) issues that can be at the heart of hard feelings.

You and your in-laws might never be best friends but, remembering some of the key points that I discussed may help to strengthen your relationship with them.  It will definitely help reduce tension during family gatherings and open you up to enjoying your time together more.

~ Tonya

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Heal Yourself on Journey to Self this week

This week we have great show with two amazing women that are dedicated to helping individuals heal their mind, body, and spirit. Rebbekah White and Buffy Lauer will be joining me and talking about the new Heal Yourself Magazine, the official magazine of Heal Yourself Talk Radio.  Heal Yourself Magazine has brought together some of the finest authors, products and reviews for the health and wellness industry to help you reach individuals reach their highest potential.

Heal Yourself Magazine was founded by Rebbekah White host of Heal Yourself Talk Radio, the popular internet and Boston Radio show that focuses on healing your mind, body and spirit. It is Rebbekah and Buffy’s hope that the online magazine will bring more enlightenment to those who are actively searching for answers.

Rebbekah White was an army wife for 8 years before her husband was medically discharged. Rebbekah currently resides in Sylvania, Ohio where she is the mother to three boys ages 14, 12 and 6.  Rebbekah started Heal Yourself Talk Radio out of a desire to reach out to others and teach them how to learn how to heal their mind, body and soul.

After years of dealing with depression and other physical ailments, Rebbekah realized she wanted to help others learn how to deal with depression and other areas of life.  Heal Yourself Talk Radio is a great starting point for information no matter what you are dealing with in your life.

Buffy Lauer is the newest partner, editor, pr rep and marketing expert for The Heal Yourself Network.  Buffy believes in self healing and like Rebbekah in spreading the word about holistic health and wellness.  Buffy brings to the table many life experiences, business experience and the excitement to help Heal Yourself Network grow to its fullest potential. In the past years she has turned 40 and have had a tremendous opportunity for reflection, healing, and growth.

She was born and raised in the Toledo areas, having the privilege of being adopted into a wonderful family.  Although she has had many years of understanding and working through her abandonment issues from her birth her parents, she is truly grateful for the family that she had been given and believes there are no mistakes - she is exactly where she is meant to be!  Which also includes being a single mom to her 11 year old son James, and her 8 year old daughter Ellie.

Join me Thursday April 23rd as Rebbekah and Buffy shares with us their own experiences of self-healing and their passion to help others do the same.  Listen live at 10am pst / 11am mnt / 12pm cst / 1pm est on Blog Talk Radio ~ http://blogtalkradio.com/journeytoself.

You can join the chat room during the show, use the “click to talk” feature, or call in (347) 215-8942 with your comments or questions.

If you can’t make it to the live show - no worries, all shows are archived and available with the show notes soon after the show on the Journey to Self Website ~ http://journeytoself.info

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Quote of the Week

Making your mark on the world is hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it’s not. It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won’t. it’s whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere.”

~ Barack Obama

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