At a presentation the other day, I was asked if taking some time for one’s self was selfish.

Of course, my reply was “NO!” In fact not only is it not selfish, but its mandatory in order to have a healthy balanced life.

As a coach, one of the biggest issues that my clients face is taking time for themselves. I always use the analogy, if you keep writing checks without making deposits eventually your checking account becomes over drawn. The same thing applies if you give and give without taking some back for yourself.

Women in general are so use to sacrificing their needs for others. What causes this? What makes women think they are any less important then those they take care for?

A couple of months ago a friend of mine gave me an article that was published in Housekeeping Monthly (13 May 1955) entitled “The Good Wife’s Guide”. According to the 1955 standards, a women should: not complain, wait on her husband after a long hard day at work, have dinner on the table, keep the children quiet and clean, and “Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking.” The underlying message of the article was in order to be a good wife, put your own thoughts, feelings, and identity on hold for your husband.

After my initial anger over the suppression of women, I calmed down. When this article was written that was just how it was. Back then, women were homemakers, very subservient to their husbands the breadwinners. They were not given credit for how hard the job raising kids and the daily upkeep of a home really is.

Women now, work either outside or from home. They have carved out their place in the workforce and fought for equality, but even though women have progressed their status from subservient to strong independent working women, they still treat themselves by the 1955 standard. Sacrificing for their family and putting themselves last, if at all. Women that have fought so hard for their equality, yet they refuse to reconize their worth when it comes to self-care.

Why would it be selfish for anyone to take alone time for themselves? Isn’t it what we usually recommend to a stressed out friend? Take care of yourself, take a nice long hot bath, take a walk….are just some of the suggestions that we give others when we see that they have over done caretaking for everyone else.

Why is it ok for others and not you?

We all know the correlation between good self-care and a happier life. Life is busier than ever for most. Making sure that you have time to recharge is a necessity to staying on top of life’s constant demands. The bottom line is that if you don’t take care of yourself then you will not be in a position to take care of anyone else.

Trust me; this is one of life’s lessons that I have learned the hard way.

Start realizing that you are worth making time for! It will make you a better you. Don’t you, your family, and your business deserve that?

© Copyright 2006 Tonya Ramsey