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Make Time for You
By Tonya Ramsey
At a
presentation the other day, I was asked if taking
some time for one’s self was selfish.
Of course,
my reply was “NO!” In fact not only is it not selfish,
but its mandatory in order to have a healthy balanced life.
As a coach,
one of the biggest issues that my clients face is taking time for
themselves. I always use the analogy, if you keep writing checks
without making deposits eventually your checking account becomes over
drawn. The same thing applies if you give and give without taking
some back for yourself.
Women in
general are so use to sacrificing their needs for others. What causes
this? What makes women think they are any less important then those
they take care of?
A couple of
months ago a friend of mine gave me an article that was published in
Housekeeping Monthly (13 May 1955) entitled “The Good
Wife’s Guide”. According to the 1955 standards, a woman
should: not complain, wait on her husband after a long hard day at work,
have dinner on the table, keep the children quiet, and clean, and
“Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be
fresh-looking.” The underlying message of the article was in
order to be a good wife, put your own thoughts, feelings, and identity on
hold for your husband.
After my
initial anger over the suppression of women, I calmed down. When this article was written
that was just how it was. Back then, women were homemakers, very
subservient to their husbands the breadwinners. They were not given credit for how hard the job raising kids
and the daily upkeep of a home is.
Devalued by society and eventually by themselves.
Women now,
work either outside or from home.
They have carved out their place in the workforce and fought for
equality, but even though women have progressed their status from
subservient to strong independent working women, they
still treat themselves by the 1955 standard. Sacrificing for their
family and putting themselves last, if at all. Women that have fought
so hard for their equality, yet they refuse to recognize their worth when
it comes to self-care.
Why would
it be selfish for anyone to take alone time for themselves? Isn’t it what we usually recommend to a stressed
out friend? Take care of yourself, take a nice long hot bath, take a
walk….are just some of the suggestions that we give others when we see
that they have over done caretaking for everyone else.
Why is it
ok for others and not you?
We all know
the correlation between good self-care and a happier life.
Life is busier than ever for most. Making sure that you have time to
recharge is a necessity to staying on top of life’s constant
demands. The bottom line is that if you don’t
take care of yourself then you will not be in a position to take care of
anyone else.
Trust me;
this is one of life’s lessons that I have learned the hard way.
Start
realizing that you are worth making time for!
It will make you a better you. Don't you,
your family, and your business deserve that?
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